Monday, February 11, 2013

Be Still and Know that I am God

Being thankful gets harder on days when the computer has static issues. Getting zonked by my headset mic, having five new students to welcome, second semester, a few weeks in, major projects, papers, calls, all adds up.

Sometimes, I have so much to be thankful for, as Ann reminds us, in spite of an oil seal leak, a cracked radiator, power fluxes in my dry dusty house, paint chipping off the floor on the second floor and that dark stuff multiplying where the cheap vinyl flooring is starting to curl away from the floor trim in the bathroom. Sometimes, I let the creeping fear, not the simple gratitude, that reminds to "Be Still and Know that I am God."

Peacefulness is found in these few sensations that I love.
resolving the stress of another person
cooking simple comfort foods for my loved ones
the weight of a handmade quilt for rest
waking up talking to God about those who I love, who need healing, comfort, peace, mercy
my son reaching over in Liturgy to give back the calming touch that I gave as mother to him for years
my daughter, hanging out with us at the end of a night
the smell of fresh air in the open window
spray of sunshine that inspires letting go of what I do not want or need
new growth after trimming back a plant
seed-catalogues, for their diversity, beauty and promise of new life
the ability to pray Scriptures because I know them well enough to quote and mouth
That God speaks to men as friends
That He sees my heart and hears my sighs
That God speaks through the homilies of my husband, a voice familiar, to remind me, if I'm bold enough to declare "God I can't take it anymore" I should be brave enough to pray, "I need You. I need your healing. I cannot go on without your Body and Blood."
Doing a good job. 
Email inboxes below 100, with most issues resolved.
Respites with my husband
Good music, with my family.
Little children in our church, wailing out the hymns, like I used to do, oblivious to anything but the joy of singing loud to God.

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