Just a quick thanks today. Yesterday, it saved my life. Even in the final exhausted hours, when I gave up and cried myself to sleep, I posted my little sorrow and so many many voices sent little notes, my daughter gave me a hug, my husband sat beside me as I wept, he made me mix CD's, and this morning, I heard the voice of God in the shower. He speaks Scripture to me.
I am thankful for those who rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.
If you want to know what God said to me in the shower, "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has appointed me; he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed and to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.
Is. 61:1.
Sometimes, I am brokenhearted and made a captive to my own sin, my despair at ever-mounting little things, to a sense that I cannot get it all done, that I'm a failure because another day passed with my children saying I caused their anger. I probably did. Because I didn't call that person who is suffering from cancer or some sickness. Because I didn't call the person whose mother is in the hospital. Because I forgot again to send a thank you card, a birthday card, a shower gift. Because the essay I wrote just wasn't polished or cogent enough. Because I missed another church service. Because I need the sacrament of confession.
Yesterday just was too much, and God sent people to mourn with me. I thank God for them because I said things to God that hurt Him, but not as many as I've said before. I kept a heart that was more pointed at repentance, which means that when the eyes sting the next morning, the conscience doesn't as well. For a disposition of repentance makes tears worthwhile.
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